The Bryce Side of Things: 2013

My life is truly blessed. Most of the time it's really hard, stressful, and chaotic but above all very blessed.
Sometimes I look back at myself before I had children. I think about all of my ideas about motherhood.

How I would keep my house clean with chore charts and rotating cleaning schedules.

How I would successfully discipline my children.

How I would meal plan and cook for my family.

How I would fit in exercise and date nights with Bryce.

How easy and fun breastfeeding would be.

On and on and on my ideas and dreams went. I think about what I thought I knew back then and... I laugh at my oh so innocent and naive self.

Now I realize that the pregnant girl who thought she knew something has become the mother who knows nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

And it feels like I've been freed. I used to think that I had spent my life up until having children learning what I needed to know to be a good mother. Now I know the truth. Motherhood IS the ultimate teacher of how to be a good mother. I feel like a ball of mushy clay, without true form or beauty, and my kids are literally smacking and pounding me into the mother I need to be.

Bryce's grandpa, one of the wisest men I have ever known, used to tell me that I was the perfect wife for Bryce and that I was the perfect mother for my children. I didn't feel like i was perfect, far from it. Yet he would repeat this "you are the perfect for yours" saying to everyone.

Now I get it.

I am the perfect mother for my children, not anyone else's children, but perfect for mine.

Maybe it's social networking that gave me this false idea of what a mother looks like. Of what I should look like. But I'm not "that" mother. I am myself, and I'm finally discovering what that looks like and being completely ok with it. No guilt trips. No regrets. I am just who I am. Not only that, but other mothers are who they are and I want to applaud them.

Mothering is not longer a competition. We do things differently. There isn't one mold for us. If God intended us to all be the same, he wouldn't have made us so different, given us different strengths and different interests. We are who we are.

I know I've heard all this before. I may have even believed it. But it's different now that I KNOW it. I know it deep in my heart. I feel it so strongly that I can't help but be in awe of the complete truth in it. I am me, a mother unique and imperfect, who knows nothing about mothering.

I absolutely cannot do this alone. I need help all the time. Physical and emotional help from love ones. But mostly help from God.

I pray different when I know nothing. I pray because I HAVE to pray, not because I have to. If I don't pray my twins might light my house on fire while I'm feeding the baby or I may lose my temper and throw them through a window. I pray because I desperately need all my children to be asleep at the same time so I can take a power nap. I pray for sanity, patience, and to get through each day, one at a time. I pray that God will keep my mothering lessons simple and not give me too many at one time. I pray for my sweet husband so he can put up with my eye-twitching-crazy-sauce self at the end of the day and to have patience with me as he tries, often without success, to arouse me from my cave woman slumber at night to feed the baby.

I think these are the reasons God sent me 3 children in two years. I am an independent, stubborn, "smart" woman and things have always come easily to me. He knew that in order to teach me about true motherhood he had to break me. I feel that broken heart and contrite spirit in a way I never have before.
And it is wonderful. I love knowing nothing. I love discovering and accepting myself. I love my life. I love being a mother.

Monday, June 17, 2013

To the best Daddy ever!

What can I say. My boys and I are so incredibly blessed to have Bryce as a husband and Father. We had a lot of fun celebrating his special day. We started out our day with our traditional Fancy Father's Day muffins. This year we had peanut butter muffins with cinnamon sugar topping. Mmm...

The boys were so excited to present the gifts they made. They proudly presented their handprints yelling "made it"! As soon as Bryce opened it, they took them away as their own and tried to eat them.

We also gave daddy a fancy blender jar. Since buying our super cool blender a few months ago, Bryce (mostly Bryce, anyway), has used it 364 times. Making daddy's morning smoothie is probably one of the boys favorite things to do with their dad. Now he can make fancy things!

Bryce works so hard for our family and plays so hard with our family. We are so proud of him going back to school for his master's degree and working full time as an accountant. Our boys love rough housing, wrestling, laughing, and working with their Dad. No matter how tired Bryce may be, or other things he needs to do, he is just the kind of Father who drops everything to get down on the floor and play. The boys adore him and are 100% daddy's little boys. I can't think of any way I could be a prouder mom then if my boys grew up and became just like there Dad.

Speaking of growing up like our dad's, Bryce and I are also very fortunate to have such awesome, spectacular, super hero dad's. They are both amazing, strong, hard working, and family loving men. We love you! The boys painted them each a rock that says "you rock grandpa!"

Happy 2nd birthday boys!

The boys had a great birthday! We started the day at the union station to see the "big trains!" Even though they thought the trains were awesome, they still enjoyed throwing rocks more.

They also got big boy beds this weekend. It has been quite an adventure getting them to go to sleep. They would much rather jump and play with there brother.

We gave them a set of real hot wheels cars. They enjoyed playing and racing them... but mostly crashing and throwing them. I am finding, as i'm becoming greatly out numbered, that boys have a strange fascination with destruction.

We had a fun little party with our family that evening. Liam wanted a chocolate green train cake (yes, he was that specific) and Oliver wanted a yellow one. We also had pizza, there favorite food. They literally ate three pieces each, more then I can eat.
Because of their great love for pizza, we took them to a pizza buffet the night before. Our favorite moment was when we asked Liam if he wanted a bite of chocolate pizza (two of his favorite things). He answered with a loud gasp of delight.

They have really enjoyed playing with all their birthday gifts from family. Thanks everyone for lovin on our boys and celebrating two great years of awesomeness! I can't imagine my life without our sweet boys. It has been some of the most challenging and most joyful years of Bryce and my life. We are truly blessed.

"It's a motorcycle!" face.

Measuring in at 22 lbs and 2ft 8in tall.... Birthday boy Oliver!

Measuring in at 23 lbs and 2ft 8 1/2inches.... Birthday boy Liam!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Petting farm

Thank you Grandma Shreeve for taking us to the petting farm! We had such a great time.

The boys were typical boys and quickly picked out there favorite things to do at the farm. These included (in no specific order) chasing the chickens, throwing rocks in the little pond, getting as much animal slobber and dirt on them ad possible, and climbing on the big tractors.